restless souls

stuck in the middle of traffic, i asked my colleague R* why she was in the social sector. When you're stuck in the middle of traffic, you'll ask anyone just about anything. its the god damn traffic.
Why are you in the social sector R*?
because, she said (and i'm paraphrasing here), i got sick of my old job. I'm a little restless that way.

a restless soul. like me.

Some people in this world are lucky. they were born in just the right place, at the right time, and they never struggle with themselves. they were, are, and always will be exactly suited to their life and place in this world.

then there are others. others like me. restless souls. wandering through here and there, never fitting anywhere, not even in the skin of their own existence. i remember being 13 and looking in the mirror. first time i asked my eyes to explain the meaning of their look. first time that iris brown turned to mystery and confusion.

and i wandered and wandered through the days and found nothing but confusion everywhere i looked. sometimes in that iris brown shining through the mirror...sometimes in the iris brown of others..or iris blue or iris green.

i gave up at one point. that misty haze of life would never clear, the sun would never shine. darkness was all i had and i should get comfortable with it. or so i thought....so i beleived.

until someone came along who looked right through the iris brown and saw me.
just as i am. no putting on a pedestal. no seeing a me that doesn't exist.

through the meandering path we wander together.

i am restless no more.

my first job ever

poonam said over her chapati at lunch that they were looking for someone in communications.

Communications? i asked.

Yes. communications.

Why don't you speak to priti about it?

and then Pavi came up to me and said so too. speak to priti about it, she said. kalpana had asked her to ask me to speak to priti about it.

and then priti came up to me, before i could go up to her, and said...we're looking for someone in communications.

i said oh? communications?

she said yes. and event management, and fundraising.

hmmm.. i said.

then priti started to tell me what it meant to be in communications. priti with the full weight of her 30 yrs of experience.

and by the time she was done, i was almost convinced.

but i had to speak to kalpana first. and by the time she was done, i was totally convinced.

so there you are. i landed my first job in the social sector as a paid intern. which may not sound like much, but its better than an unpaid intern. from now on, i'm officially saving the world, one little child at a time. through life skills. and communications. also, event management.

isn't that cool? i think so.

dad, however, thinks i'm wasting my talent. i should be in corporate, saving myself. making my money. god knows you're talented anu, why are you throwing it all away?

he has a point, though i'll never admit that to him. he has a point, no doubt. but then i have i point too.

and my point begins with a painted tree. several trees in fact. it was a hot saturday. the indian summer was on. i was smelling of turpentine bananas and delicious paint. it was a small classroom for the littlest children in the school. and it was filled with perfect strangers.

perfect because they were new. and new people are always perfect. with them, there is no familiarity that has bred contempt.

we all painted a wall. with trees. and flowers, and happy loitering clouds. i was putting the grey in the clouds when i made up my mind to save the world.

besides, i'll find the money somehow. i'm going to be a bestselling author remember?